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Break the Connection

Do you remember the days when people actually talked and had real conversations? Or, do you recall the days when you did not feel the pressure to display and/or paint a false narrative of "love" by staying connected to toxic, negative, envious, jealous individuals? Or perhaps you can vividly remember, when life was a bit more peaceful as you only encountered toxic, uncomfortable "people interactions" at work, in the grocery store, etc. Yep, like those family members that you avoid at the annual BBQ (Ha!), or that co-worker that you only exchange words with during the company meeting (Ha!).

While I am kindly attempting to lighten the mood, I must admit, sometimes I miss the good ole days. I miss having genuine in-person dialog; I miss having organic interactions and also not feeling the pressure to stay connected, all in the name of love. But, what is love? Is love really subjecting yourself to unhealthy relationships? Is love flooding your mind and eyes with continual negativity, people taking direct (and subliminal) shots at one another, and the like. Is love constantly comparing your life, your marriage, your achievements and accomplishments to that of another. Granted, testifying, helping, and inspiring others is great, but let's be honest...many aren't testifying, they are competing.

And, for my fellow Christian readers, yes...I know, Love is patient, kind, long-suffering, and love looks for the best in all things. However, for some reason, we fail to read the part in scripture that clearly states, "It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." (1 Cor. 13)

Social media is a powerful tool. It can be used for good...and it can also be used for bad. Personally, I endeavor to use my social media platforms to encourage, educate, inspire, have healthy, constructive dialogs, while also making healthy connections. However, I am not oblivious to the fact that it just doesn't always work out that way. Hence, why over the years, I have learned to unapologetically disconnect myself when I know and clearly discern that certain connections are not good for my personal space.

Case in point: we have the power to choose how we use social media, and what we are willing to allow into our mental and emotional space. This is one of the many things that I teach my COM (Communication) students each semester.

To that end, here's something to ponder: If you don’t care for a person. If you don’t like seeing their posts. If they trigger you and you start to feel negative feelings, etc., please kindly explain why do you continue to subject yourself to these negative moods, feelings, thoughts, etc.? Being healthy on social media is a real thing. Toxicity is toxicity. You are not obligated to stay connected to anything or anyone that triggers a negative and/or toxic emotional response. Your mental and emotional health is very important; in fact it is arguably more important than keeping up with the latest world happenings, who's doing what, etc.

A very well known Doctor, whom I adore, admire, and have had the honor and pleasure of meeting, said it like this, “You cannot sit back and wait to be happy and healthy and have a great thought life; you have to make the choice to make this happen.” Dr. Caroline Leaf

In conclusion, I kindly challenge you to choose to be healthy in all areas of your life! And, in your choosing, you may have to "Break the Connection."

Canena Adams, LLBSW, MA, SRAS

Wife | Mother | Writer | Author | Public Speaker | Social Worker | Business Owner | Nonprofit Founder & Director | Sexual Risk Avoidance Specialist | Healthy Family & Relationship Advocate | Adjunct College Prof. | PhD Student (Public & Social Policies)

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